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Something Foul: Aaron Rodgers Plan To Play Black Friday After Eating Dolphin-Juice-Marinated Turkey




NEW YORK- Week 1 was such a disappointment for Aaron Rodgers. What should have been the start to a banner season with a new team in a new city fell apart faster than the mashed potatoes that will fall apart in your mouth this Thursday. A tragedy for New York Jets fans, certainly, who watched their new superstar quarterback completely tear his Achilles tendon just as you will tear apart the wishbone on Thanksgiving.


Surprisingly to many, Aaron Rodgers voyaged over to a specialist in hopes that his bad news Mayflower turned into something good. The surgical repair was complete and Rodgers began his recovery. Many were shocked by his trust in medicine after his very overt pilgrimages away from doctors in the past. It may come as a shock to no one, that after this reparative surgery, Rodgers returned to his wily ways, reportedly listening to the sounds of dolphins absolutely stuffing each other more than you will stuff your mouth this weekend to help heal his ruptured tendon.


The latest story coming out of the Eastern settlement of New York is that Rodgers expects to play in the first-ever Black Friday game this weekend against the Miami Dolphins. People are shocked Rodgers could return quicker than they can return everything they regret buying during the wee hours of Black Friday shopping. What in the world is this man doing to possibly be able to play on Friday?


The secret is not the turkey, not how to plant, grow, and harvest corn, no. The secret is a dolphin-juice-marinated turkey recipe. Now I bet you're asking, what is dolphin juice? I think you're better off never knowing. But that is what he is soaking his turkey in for this Thanksgiving. Supposedly, if he eats just enough, his tendon will finish its repair and strengthening and he will see the field this Friday.


Yessir, it seems Aaron Rodgers is more lost in the sauce than you will be in the gravy bowl.


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